Alice in MilitaryLand
by b4tmans
Summary: ON HIATUS: When Cobra targets Hawk's family, he is forced to bring his wife and 18 year-old daughter, Alice, back to the Pit and live under his protection. With a little help from Alice, the Joes start to have a little more fun tan they intended.
1. Snake Eyes the Dressing Room Ninja

Chapter 1

Snake Eyes the Dressing Room Ninja.

Sighing, I placed my sketch book down on my bed and stood up groggily. The warm late-night air blew through the open window to my right and warmed my skin as I bent down and picked up my cat Shylo.

"Hey kitty kitty." I smiled. He mewed happily and jumped onto the window sill. I giggled and looked out the window with him.

"What? What is it?" I kissed his head. That's when I saw the headlights pulling into my drive way. The black Hummer's engine cut and a man stepped out. I looked a little closer, and I knew immediately who it was.

"DAD!" I screamed and raced out of my room, Shylo in tow. I ran down the hall, giggling.

"Mum! It's DAD!" I raced down the stairs quickly and brushed my dark brown hair out of my face.

"What?" My Mom stood up off the couch with a shocked expression on her face, knocking our German Shepard, Daisy, out of her beauty nap.

"DAD!" I smiled wide raced to the door with Shylo. I yanked the dark red door open, and ran outside.

"DADDY!" I giggled.

"Alice!" I jumped into his arms only to here a grunt, "Alice, you're not five any more."

"Oops... Sorry.." I hopped down out of his arms that were quickly taken by my Mom who had tears in her eyes.

"I missed you so much." She choked out.

"I missed you too." My Dad hugged her tighter. Shylo mewed.

"Shhhh! You're ruining the moment!" I picked him up and kissed him.

All of a sudden one of the doors to the Hummer opened to reveal an African American in a gray hoodie.

"Uhhh... Sorry to ruin the whole family reunion thing, but, ah, if we aren't outta here in like 3 minutes... We're toast, You're toast, HELL! The Toaster's toast!" He threw his hands into the air and sighed.

"Wait.... WHAT!?!?" Me and my Mom asked at the same exact time.

"I'll explain later get Daisy and anything you might need." My Dad hurried us into the house to grab our stuff. Quickly I ran into the house and grabbed the sweatshirt my Dad had given me before he left for the Army. I quickly put it on and zipped it up and hopped down the stairs.

"C'mon! We gotta go!" My Dad hurried us outside and into the Hummer. Inside 6 others were sitting casually waiting for us. Pushing me my Dad caused me to smack my head on the roof of the car.

"Ow..." I grumbled and sat down next to the Man who had called out to us before.

"Hi." I smiled still holding my head.

"Smooth move out there." He laughed.

"Yeah, I'm too cool huh?" I giggled. My parents hurried Shylo and Daisy and after many Scratches later Daisy was sitting on my feet and Shylo was curled up in my lap. After my parents had gotten into the front of the Hummer, I giggled.

"On the road agaiiiiin!" I started to sing quietly.

"NO!" My parents both screamed back to me. I started to laugh hysterically as I had a flashback to a Family road trip where I wouldn't stop singing that song.

"Ahhhh. The memories." I sighed. My Mom shook her head and sighed.

"Hawk?" The man asked next to me.

"Yes Rip?"

"I like your daughter." Everyone in the van laughed.

"Rip, you like anyone who has a sense of humor." A man in the back stated.

"Or if they're a woman." Another man with a french accent added.

"Or if they're a woman who has a sense a humor." An African man laughed.

"You guys better stop before my Dad goes all 'No dating men in my Military unit' on you." I imitated his voice in the last part.

"I do NOT say that." My Dad laughed as he pulled out of the drive way.

My Mom laughed.

"Are we going to have an argument or are you going to tell us why we're here?" Shylo mewed.

"What?" I asked softly. He mewed again then dug his head into my red plaid skinny jeans. I frowned and looked out the window to see the yellow glow of street lights pass by quite quickly.

"The reason I came and got you guys was because of Cobra."

"Cobra? Like a snake?" My Mom asked. Yeah... She hated snakes....

"No. Its a secret organization. Their Commander goes by the name Cobra. I was afraid that he would come after you, seeing that he now knows the name of our soldiers and Generals."

"How does he know that?" I asked.

"One of his operatives, Zartan, broke into our base last night, then hacked one of the main computers that contained a hell of a lot of information." My Dad sighed, "Everyone in this car, is part of MY team. They're formally known as the GI Joes." A proud smile broke across his face.

"Wallace Weems, but you can call me Ripcord." I giggled as he gave a sloppy salute. I turned around to see a red head smiling.

"I'm Shana O'hara, but you can call me Scarlett." I smiled and shook her hand.

"This is Snake Eyes. He doesn't talk." Ripcord pointed to a man dressed in black with a scarf covering most of his face.

"Ummm... Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't say." Ripcord shrugged. And I laughed.

"If he doesn't talk then how would he tell you why?" I giggled as Ripcord sighed.

"Great another Scarlett." he mumbled

"You're going to have to ignore him, he didn't have his afternoon nap." A man in the back added.

"I'm Conrad Hauser, Duke." I nodded and smiled.

"Hi. Breaker." A man waved. I waved back.

"And this hunk of Man-meat is Heavy Duty." Ripcord pointed to a Strong African man next to him.

"Hi!" I smiled. He nodded and elbowed Ripcord.

"OW!"

"Now, now, children. No fighting in front of our guests." Scarlett giggled. I laughed and looked out the window. We were stopped at a red light. I looked back out the window to see another black Hummer, only this one wasn't stopping.

"Dad...."

"What?"

"FLOOR IT!" I screamed. My Dad looked into the rear view mirror only to see a Hummer with the license plat 'C0BR4' and Stepped on the gas. My dad zoomed through the intersection, nearly avoiding other cars.

"AAAAAAAH!" Me and Ripcord screamed as we were all thrown about in the car.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Ripcord yelled.

"No! WE! ARENT!" My Dad grunted as we made a quick turn into a Walmart parking lot.

"DAD NOWS NOT THE TIME TO GO SHOPPING!" I screamed as we jumped out of the car.

"Everyone run to the store and hide. Don't come out until my signal." With that we all bolted into the Walmart store. I was behind Duke and Ripcord with Snake Eyes behind me, my Mom was in front of all of us with Scarlett and Heavy Duty. We ran into the back of the store into the toy section.

As we ran past a Nerf Gun Long-Shot toy, I quickly grabbed 9 and gave it to each member of the team.

"Like this is going to help!" My Mom screamed in a hushed tone.

"Mom?"

"What!?"

"Have you ever been shot with one of these in the eye?" I mused.

"No." She sighed, "Why?"

"Because it hurts like hell." I giggled as I tore open the packaging and loaded it up with suction cup bullets.

I saw Snake Eyes' eyes widen as Heavy Duty shot a stuffed bunny across the aisle.

"What? I love Nerf guns..." he frowned.

"Don't we all?" Duke asked laughing. All of a sudden the front doors to the store burst open to reveal a young woman dressed in all black.

"Oh, great. Baroness." Scarlett muttered.

"She looks like a goth Barbie doll." I laughed as I cocked the Nerf gun.

"Now that you mention it... She does." Breaker said amused. Behind Baroness were four soldiers, each with their own guns.

"COME OUT COME OUT WHERE EVER YOU ARE!" Baroness screamed once she entered the store. Many of the people in the store saw the men with guns and immediately took off through the doors. That pretty much left us, in the toy section, all alone.

"We only want The Abernathys!" She said walking closer to where we were.

"On the count of three, Snake Eyes you take Alice and Heavy Duty will take Mrs. A. Got it?." Duke whispered. Everyone nodded.

"One."

"Two."

"Three." Snake Eyes grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the Nerf war. Still holding onto my Nerf gun we ran through the back aisles passing all of the toys and food. Quickly running down the Escalator, we bumped into a bunch of people who started to curse at us.

"Sorry!" I apologized as we rounded the corner into clothing section. Sprinting as fast as I could to keep up with him, Snake Eyes ran into the womans dressing rooms and quickly shoved us both in and locked the door. He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bench in the room. Then made a 'Shhhh' motion by putting his fingers on his lips. I pulled my feet up and listened.

"No dude. I'm not going in there! It's a ladies dressing room!"

"The Ninja and the girl went in there!"

"So you go in!"

"Grrrrrrr. Fine." I heard heavy boots trudging through the dressing room then stopping at our door. Snake eyes quietly pulled out a sword from his backpack and through his scarf I could tell he was smiling. I smiled back and nodded. He stepped down carefully and kicked open the door, hitting the soldier.

"OW!" He screamed. Snake Eyes quickly cut him down while his partner fired at him.

"Give us the girl Ninja!" Snake Eyes shook his head and smirked.

"Fine I'll get her myself!" The man charged at Snake Eyes which was probably the wrong thing to do seeing that he quickly killed him too.

"Nice." I smiled running out of the dressing room with him. He nodded as we took off into the dresses department. As we rounded the corner I felt someone grab my waist and pull me backwards behind a rack of woman's underwear.

"Ello Darlin'." A man with a thick Australian accent smiled covering my mouth with his hand, "And Dun't Chyou Dare try to bite me." he whispered. My eyes widened as I was spun around to come face to face with a strong tan man with VERY interesting eyes. I struggled to break free of his grasp.

"Ah, ah, ah." he giggled, "Dun't give us away." I smirked and kneed him in the crouch. He let go of me just enough so that I wriggled free and run away. Snake Eyes was looking for me.

"CRAZY AUSTRALIAN! 12:00!" I screamed and pointed to the clothes rack. Snake Eyes quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me away, up the escalator and back to where the other Joes were.

The other two soldiers were down and covered in suction cup Nerf bullets. I giggled and pulled out my Long shot and handed it to Breaker.

"Here. Have fun!" I giggled as he started to shoot the baroness. All of a sudden the Crazy Australian bursted out of no where with woman underwear draped over him.

"Wow.... Nice look Zartan." Everyone stopped firing at each other and laughed at the embarrassed Zartan. He grabbed the bra off his head and threw it on to the floor. In the midst of our laughing no one noticed the headlights flashing in the parking lot. So probably fed up with the waiting, my Dad backed the Hummer into Walmart, knocking down a wall on top of Baroness and Zartan.

"GO!" Duke screamed. All of us took off into the Hummer, where my Mom and Heavy Duty had already met up.

I was the last one into the car to see Baroness and Zartan recovering from the blow. Quickly I stuck my tongue out at them and yelled, "SEE YOU LATER CRAZY AUSTRALIAN!" and with that my father sped out of the Walmart, and onto the road.

"Well that was fun." I giggled. Everyone laughed with me. Thats when I looked around. I was between Snake Eyes and Breaker.

"Hey Dad?" I leaned forward so I was closer to him.

"Wheres Daisy and Shylo?" I asked quietly.

"In the back." I peered back to see Daisy pop her head up over the seat. On top of her head Shylo sat and mewed. He jumped off Daisy's head and leapt onto Snake Eyes lap. There he smiled and pet him.

"Awwwwwwwww...." Scarlett giggled, "He likes you." She leaned over the seat and pat Shylo. He purred and laid down in Snake Eyes lap. Snakes grunted, perhaps a laugh maybe.

Smiling my Dad told us all we should get some rest for the night. After all it was around 12:00 at night and we just had an epic battle in a Walmart store. Most of us agreed and I slowly dosed off listening to Ripcord and Duke argue about what Zartan was doing in the womens department.


	2. Snake Eyes the Kittennapping Ninja

Chapter 2

Snake Eyes the Kitten-napping Ninja.

So I had fallen asleep in the car only to wake with Breaker sleeping on my shoulder and Daisy sprawled across me and Snake Eyes lap. Breaker started to mumbled then put an arm around my waist then hugging me calling me 'Teddy'.

I looked back to see Duke and Ripcord trying to hold back laughs, but failing they both started to laugh hysterically waking up Breaker, Snake Eyes, Scarlett and Heavy Duty. Breaker removed his arm from my waist and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry." he blushed. I giggled and shrugged.

"It's okay... When you have friends like I do, you have to get used to that." Ripcord and Duke were still laughing their behinds off and a confused Snake Eyes shot me a quizzical look.

"They're being retards." I shook my head and he nodded.

"I thought they _were_ retards..." Scarlett mumbled and I giggled.

"Oh, they are. They're just being more retarded." She laughed and smiled.

"Where are we?" Heavy Duty asked unbuckling his seat belt.

"Oh, General Hawk and Mrs. A went in to get some food." Duke explained when his laughter died down. My eyes lit up at that word 'food' and Daisy's ears perked up. I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed over Breaker hopping out of the stuffed Hummer with Daisy in tow. Snake Eyes did the same thing hoping out with Shylo in his hands. He took off his back pack up zipped it and gently put Shylo in so his head could stick out.

I giggled when he walked by with the kittens head poking out. Soon the others had gotten out of the car too and we were all making our way across the deserted parking lot into the old Diner.

"Deserted Acres Diner..." Breaker read the sign above the door out loud.

"Creeeeeeepy...." I said in a sing-song voice.

"Juuuuust a tad." Scarlett giggled.

"At least its not like 'I See Dead People Diner'." Ripcord laughed as we walked in. My parents were both sitting at the counter, drinking coffee. Daisy followed us in only to be stopped by the waitress.

"Sorry, but she can't come in here." With that the lady pointed to sign near the door that said: 'No Dogs Allowed.' in red letters.

"Sorry girl..." I brought her outside and back into the Hummer, "I'll bring you back something 'Kay?"

She barked happily and wagged her tail. I spun around only to come face to face with Snake Eyes. I jumped and tried to stop myself from screaming.

"Jesus! You scared the fudge outta me...." I mumbled as he put Shylo back in the Hummer.

"She caught you too?" Snake nodded and let his shoulders slump, showing a sign of defeat. I giggled as he huffed then stalked back to 'Deserted Acres Diner'. I followed him skipping ahead of him and running in to the diner. I grabbed the seat at the bar next to my Mom and Scarlett.

"So how far do you think we are from the base?" I asked Scarlett as she sipped her Orange soda.

"Uh, I think its only about half an hour, at the least." I smiled and nodded, then hopped off the red and silver bar stool and over to the table where all the guys were sitting. I sat down next to Snake Eyes, who was still sulking because Shylo wasn't allowed in.

"Hey Alice?" I looked up at Ripcord.

"Hm?"

"Is your Dad a pain in the butt at home?" I giggled at his question. I bet most of them had been wondering that. Truth was, it is. I couldn't date anyone without my Dad scaring the Shit outta them and then threatening to shoot them with Black Beauty (His favorite pistol) if I was hurt in anyway. I stumbled through my mind for an answer to his question.

"Its- I learned- Don-........" I sighed, "Yes." I finally mumbled. Duke laughed.

"He's not that bad, is he?" I smirked, then told them all about Black Beauty and Prom night.

~Later~

After we had all eaten at the Diner, we returned to the cramped black Hummer and drove another several miles through the desert. The road lay flat in the sand and the only light was that of the moon over head and the headlights of the car. To me it was all a little to spooky, and I was expecting a killer of some sort to jump out of no where or stumble out of the unforgiving darkness. But my fear was soon revealed as we drove up to a gate way to an underground section of the Pit, where gaint flood lights shown upon our car that almost blended into the dark.

One of the soldiers who was standing guard, stopped my father and asked for ID. He showed them a card with his picture and the name 'Clayton Abernathy' printed on it. The man nodded and motioned for his pal to open up the gates.

As the two metal doors parted the opened to reveal awesomeness beyond galore. Men and women practicing fighting techniques, Weapons being tested, and vehicles being driven. It was like heaven, but better!

"Welcome to the Pit." My dad smiled.

"Dad..." I stared mouth a gape at the beautiful scene before me.

"Yes?" He turned back and looked at me.

"I officially hate you for not showing me this..." I squealed as I jumped out of the Hummer like everyone else.

"Welcome back Joes." A tall strong built man greeted, "General Hawk your case briefings are waiting in your office." I frowned.

"Awwwwwwwwww.... You have to work?" I groaned as my Dad exited the Hummer and started to walk away. He nodded slowly.

"May I remind you I work here?" He laughed. Sighing, I shrugged and followed the other Joes to get settled in.


	3. Snake Eyes the IMing Ninja

Chapter 3

Snake Eyes the IM-ing ninja.

I sighed and slowly opened my laptop that my Dad had given me. I dragged the mouse over and clicked on the icon labeled 'Instant Messenger' and quickly it asked me for a username and password.

"PushingDaisies13...," I pressed tab and entered my password. My buddy info popped up along with a list of who was on in the system.

'BreakerBreaker19'

'Ripcord'

'Duke-Pwns'

'Snake_Eyes'

I smirked and right clicked on Ripcord's name, scrolled down and clicked 'Send Message'.

'GUESS WHO!' I pressed enter. A few seconds later a message popped up.

Ripcord: 'Alice? HEYYYYYYYY!' I laughed.

PushingDaisies13: 'Yeah it's me!'

'HURRRRRAYYYYYY!' came his response. Suddenly a chat invite popped up.

'Ripcord invited PushingDaisies13 to Chat12009. Do you accept?' I clicked yes and another Chat window popped up. I laughed when I saw what their conversation was on.

Duke-Pwns: 'Im hungry.'

BreakerBreaker19: 'Go eat.'

Duke-Pwns: 'Im 2 lazy 2.'

I smirked and typed in a new message.

'PushingDaisies13: Ello ladies.

BreakerBreaker19: Who r u?

PushingDaisies13: Alice.

BreakerBreaker19: HeyYYYYYYY!

PushingDaisies13: HeyYYYYYYY! XD

Duke-Pwns: ALICE!

PuchingDaisies13: Hi Duke. Nice user btw.

Duke-Pwns: ty

Snake_Eyes: hi Alice.

PushingDaisies13: Hey Ninja boy!

Snake_Eyes: =D

Duke-Pwns: LOL... *Happyface*

Ripcord: Alice?

PushingDaisies13: huh?

Ripcord: What r u wearing?!?!

PushingDaisies13: O.o weird.

Snake_Eyes: PERVERT!

Duke-Pwns: lmao

BreakerBreaker19: You guys are so immature. I gtg... Hawk wants me on duty. -__-'

-BREAKERBREAKER19 HAS LEFT THE CHAT ROOM -

PushingDaisies13: You really want to know?

Ripcord: Um... I'm not sure. Yes?

PushingDaisies13: too bad. Ur to old for me anyways =p

Duke-Pwns: ooooooh. Burnnnnnn.

Snake_Eyes: how old r u anyway Rip?

Ripcord: 24

PushingDaisies13: OLLLLLLLLLLD. ^^

Ripcord: Shut it. How old r u Snake?

Snake_Eyes: 23

Duke-Pwns: 24. wow Snake ur younger than us?

Snake_Eyes: mhm. How about u Alice?

PushingDaisies13: 18.

Ripcord: BABBBBBBBBBYYYY!

PushingDaisies13: Say it 1 more time and ill kick ur ass so hard ur nose will bleed.

Snake_Eyes: C=. ill help!

Ripcord: O.O'

Duke-Pwns: Rip, it 6 we gotta go.

Ripcord: DAMN!

Ripcord: bye guys.

Duke-pwns: c ya.

-DUKE-PWNS HAS LEFT THE CHAT-

Ripcord: dont have a makeout session why we're gone. ^.-

-RIPCORD HAS LEFT THE CHAT-

Snake_Eyes: u in ur room?

PushingDaisies13: no. lounge.

Snake_Eyes: ahhhhh. K

PushingDaisies13: y'know wut I just realized?

Snake_Eyes: What?

PushingDaisies13: This is the 1st time ive ever rlly talked to u and u can talk back.

Snake_Eyes: Ha.

PushingDaisies13: soooooooo.....

Snake_Eyes: sooooooooo......

PushingDaisies13: IM BORED. .

Snake_Eyes: me 2

PushingDaisies13: Wanna go raid the fridge?

Snake_Eyes: Race you to the kitchen'

I shut the laptop and ran as fast as I could to the Kitchen. I rounded the corner, almost hitting Cover Girl.

"Sorry!" I called as I kept running to the Kitchen. I pushed open the doors only to find Snake Eyes sitting on the counter waiting for me. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt and black pants with his mask still on.

"Dannnnnnnng. How do you do that?" I asked between pants. He shrugged his shoulders and hopped off the counter walking over to the fridge and threw me a chocolate bar.

I smirked. This was going to be tooo much fun.


	4. The moment RUINED!

Chapter 4

I sat staring into space with an extremely bored look on my face. All the Joes were on duty and I was currently sitting in the lounge, petting Shylo and watching YouTube videos. I typed in a search for my High school's chorus, hoping I could find some sort of entertainment.

34 results popped up, and most of them weren't really my school. I scrolled down and came upon "Hollis Brookline Chorus Class 2009 'Japanese Snow Song'". I clicked on the video and up popped a window that showed both girls and boys dressed up and standing on some sort of risers.

"I remember this!" I shouted in surprise as the beginning of the song started and chimes gently rang.

"Snow is falling, falling gently, gently it will grow.

Snow is whirling, swirling, twirling all round Hokkaido.

Hills are wearing white, white cotton blankets,

Snowy blankets in the night.

Trees bear silver buds, buds that blossom,

Blossom flowers of white."

More chimes started to play and it reminded me of how god damn catchy this song was.

"Yuki ya kon kon

Arare ya kon kon

Futte wa, futte wa

Kareki Nokorazu

hana ga saku."

The videos ended quickly and brought me back to the YouTube home page. I smiled happily and remembered Snake Eyes grew up in Japan. I bounced up and down happily and Shylo raised his head groggily.

I patted him and then brought up the IM login. I typed in my username and password then checked who was online.

'ScarlettLetter'

'Ripcord'

'BreakerBreaker19'

and finally...

'Snake_Eyes'

I clicked on his name and sent him the link to the Snow song. About 2 minutes later I got a reply back.

Snake_Eyes: ummm? should I ask?

PushingDaisies13: do you know that song?

Snake_Eyes: yes. I grew up in Japan remember?

PushingDaisies13: **nods** thats why I sent it to you. Could you understand it?

Snake_Eyes: mhm. pretty easy. Why?

PushingDaisies13: cuz I want u to teach me Japanese but seeing that u can't talk... thats not really gonna work... .

Snake_Eyes: **laughs** yeah. Its not an easy language. Sorry.

PushingDaisies13: ah its k. I just can just run a fork over mah radiator. CHING CHANG CUNG!

Snake_Eyes: lmao. I must admit that was pretty mean.

PushingDaisies13: why? Thats how they name their kids over there. C=

Snake_Eyes: **facepalm** why me...?

PushingDaisies13: **giggles** when is ur shift dun?

Snake_Eyes: Soon.... oops spoke to soon I get out now. Lounge?

PushingDaisies13: yesh plzzzzzzz.

Snake_Eyes: ok. Be rite there.

-SNAKE_EYES HAS LOGGED OUT-

I sighed. I think I was starting to like Snake Eyes... Oh god... I couldn't think like that! He is like 4 years old than me! But it would be totally worth it... No. No. Can't think like that!

I was knocked out my train of thought by a loud crash behind me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and turned to see Snake Eyes smirking underneath his mask with two pans in his hands.

"Not cool." I glared. The ninja shrugged and placed them on the coffee table and jumped onto the couch next to me. Waving to me, I blushed, and waved back.

"You are so weird sometimes." I poked him. He poked back. I frowned. I poked him. He poked me. I poked his stomach and he lurched forward and suppressed a laugh-like-grunt. I smiled evilly.

"So... The Smooth Ninja is ticklish?" with a pleading look, Snake Eyes shook his head. I pretty much jumped on top of him, and started poking his stomach causing him to actually laugh. He was a hearty, happy and extremely sexy laugh, one you would expect out of a GOD.

I stopped tickling him and raised an eyebrow. He waved me off and grabbed my arms, restraining me as he ran his fingers over my stomach causing me to start laugh hysterically.

"No! Stop! Stop!" I screamed between laughs. Snake' stopped and smiled hugging me. He let go a little and brought me face to face with him. I blushed a deep shade of red and he smirked.

"Y'know, you have a really cute laugh..." I started. Snake-Eyes turned away, as if embarrassed.

"No really. It's really realllllly cute." Snake Eyes was so unbelievably close to me, I thought he was actually gonna kiss me, that was until Ripcord entered the lounge and totally ruined the moment.


End file.
